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[ontoiop-forum] Fwd: comments for RFP section 6.1

To: ontoiop-forum@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From: Fabian Neuhaus <fneuhaus@xxxxxx>
Date: Wed, 6 Nov 2013 11:48:02 +0100
Message-id: <67605116-DA26-487C-B65E-4D7BEC86B90C@xxxxxx>

All
Some comments on the RFP    (01)

section 6.1:
- fUML is -- to the best of my knowledge -- not equipped with a model theoretic 
semantics, but with an operational semantics
- "it is not possible to find a single logical language …, it is necessary ..." 
This point is critical, and it should say why. 
- "Heterogeneity can be seen …" -- in this paragraph you only talk about 
ontologies (and not about models and specifications). Is that intended?    (02)

- use case 1: "OntoIOP will free …" -- this is the first time that OntoIOP is 
mentioned without any explanation (not even of the acronym). Also, it seems to 
me that the use case should not name a specific solution, after all this is an 
RFP. Shouldn't it say something: the use for the solicited language would be to 
ban …" 
- use case 2: see use case 1 
- use case 3: "shall be checked for consistency"? That sounds odd. I think this 
use case needs work. Not only is "shall" very formal, the use case should 
motivate why it is useful to have the ability to check consistency across the 
different UML diagram types. 
- use case 4: I don't know how much knowledge you presuppose of the reader, but 
 it seems that you expect the reader to fill in a lot of blanks here. For once, 
it does not say how the language is used in the scenario, nor does it mention 
its benefit. 
- use case 5: this use case lacks  a verb phrase. :-) In other words, it is way 
to terse.     (03)

I don't want to go through the other use-cases. In my opinion, they all seem to 
be written for the already initiated, and not for people who don't know  
OntoIOP. I would assume that it would be more effective to have less use cases, 
but spell them out in more detail and explicitly  show the benefit of having 
the kind of metalanguage the RFP calls for.     (04)

- "Another diversity is that of …" This sentence is hard to parse, I don't 
think it is grammatical. 
- [the same] I am not sure why this is not a use case. Or is this all part of 
Use Case 9? This is not clear. 
- [the same]: there is a terminology switch to "logical theory". I would avoid 
that, and instead speak about "ontology" or "model", because "logical theory" 
sounds too academic. 
-[the list following "use": I am not sure how much of this will be 
understandable to the OMG folks; some of it sounds very academic (e.g., 
interpretation and refinement of logical theories), which may be a turned off 
to people who think that you are proposing to standardize a research project. 
If I were you, I'd try to describe the problem in a more accessible way before 
-- or even better without -- introducing this laundry list of technical terms. 
More importantly, it remains unclear from the text right now, why and how an 
answer to the RFP would solve the problem.     (05)

More to come.
Fabian    (06)


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