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[ontoiop-forum] Notes re: version distributed for OntoIOp teleconference

To: OntoIOp open discussion <ontoiop-forum@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
From: "terry.longstreth" <terry.longstreth@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Tue, 01 Jul 2014 15:12:21 -0400
Message-id: <53B30815.2020203@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Some minor editorial comments:

1) SCOPE section: Last sentence is repeated, with an artifact from previous edit in between the two.
2) BACKGROUND section:
    Para1 "if all three can be treated in the same way." needs rewording or explanation. Suggest something like "in circumstances (explained in following paragraphs) where the three can be treated in the same way."
    Para2Sentence1 - "scope of which ranges(no 's', the word range refers to plural 'descriptions')
    Para2Sentence2 - "both domain" (unclear what two things 'both' refers to.  Removing makes the list self-defining)

Terry
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